Happy birthday, 'merica

Not your traditional celebration, here. After all going to bed about 9 o'clock Saturday night, I woke up early at 6 while Carey and Lincoln crawled into Greta's bed and slept until 845! Watched 1 1/2 episodes of "The Wire" season 4, grilled myself two eggs, bacon and toast, Facebooked and thought about doing the dishes. All before those Sleepyheads got up. When they did rise and shine, they were treated to pancakes and more bacon while watching half an episode of Miss Spider and another half of The Wonder Pets. At about 11 we thought we'd beat the crowds and make a trip to Costco. The prospect of facing a week without string cheese and whole milk was enough to outweigh the lameness of going to Costco on the Fourth of July. But Costco is smarter than we are. They don't make their employees work on Independence Day! But our Eagle-Eyed kids spotted a Chuck E. Cheese on Route 22 en route to Costco, so when we asked what they wanted for lunch on this holiest of holidays they said, PIZZA! There is something quite wonderful and sedate about Chuck E. Cheese on the Fourth of July. It was us, Chuck, and about four other families. Lincoln and Greta even braved the jet pack simulator game, which featured a TV screen to let concerned parents see how their kids were coping.

Two-and-a-half hours later, we drove home hoping Lincoln would fall asleep. He didn't, so when we got home we filled up the pool and a couple dozen water balloons and had a wet and wild blast.

At about 4 o'clock and with the mercury still in triple digits, I suggested we go see "Toy Story 3." We sang loudly in the car to keep Lincoln awake and then enjoyed $1 popcorn and $1 drinks courtesy of a one-day-only coupon from enjoytheshow.com. It was nearly 7 when the movie ended and the only sane way to end this feast of Americana was a repast at the golden arches that killed King George. It's now 9:30 and we're watching A Capitol Fourth on PBS while the local fireworks and cherry bombs try to wake our exhausted children. Not gonna happen. They're in a Fourth of July food coma.